You said you wanted to change. You said you wanted to be healthier, lose weight, feel better, look good naked, write a book, paint a masterpiece, build a business, etc., etc. You said you wanted these things, so why are you fighting yourself every step of the way? Do you enjoy fighting? Maybe you do and that’s fine, if that’s the case this post is not for you, move along.
Now for the rest of you who want to make changes, and don’t enjoy fighting, why do you insist on doing it to yourself? Going to battle everyday against the very same thing you said you wanted?
What am I talking about?
Now perhaps I am wrong about this and you don’t fall into this category, and my hat goes off to you. Congratulations this post does not apply to you either. Move along.
When I talk about fighting I’m talking about looking at the changes you want to make as a chore. You dread them. You dread your exercise routine. You can’t stand your diet. You view typing out the words to your book as a chore. You tell yourself this is something I “have” to do. This is not the way to sustain change. Thinking this way is setting yourself up to fail. Sure you can get by for a little while, but it won’t last. It’s not sustainable. You can’t fight for too long before you give in, give up, and quit. I don’t blame you, I would do the same thing. I would throw in the towel, and say, “This is too hard.” In that instance I would agree, yes it is too hard.
Would you believe me if I suggested there was a better way?
The answer is to make a paradigm shift. Change your whole mindset around the area of contention.
First of all you need to get clear on your WHY. Why do you want these things? Why are they important to you? What is motivating these changes? If it’s for something external such as your husband or wife wants you to do it, or you think it will bring you fame and fortune, or you think it will make you happy or successful, I’m sorry to tell you that when things get tough, which they will, you will fail. I firmly believe that your WHY needs to come from an internal source. Something inside you needs to drive you. Something very powerful, that is very important to you. Something along the lines of getting healthy so you can be there on your daughter’s wedding day, or watching your son hit a home run in little league, or because you want to share your message with the world, or you want to help somebody else. Those type of things. See the difference? External things will not be there for you when the going gets tough, internal motivation will always be there for you.
So you have your WHY, you are confident in that. Now it’s time to shift that mindset. Instead of looking at these changes with dread, or as a chore, embrace them. Do them with a “smile” on your face. Embrace them as part of your lifestyle, as part of what makes you, you. Sometimes early on you will need to fake it until you make it. I don’t want to imply that you should bury these kinds of feelings, I would never encourage you to pretend to be happy when you aren’t. The idea with the mindset shift is to change the way you view these things. Not looking at them as chores, but as something good and necessary, as an important part of the process.
Change is a process, embrace that process. Wrap your head around being in it for the long haul. Stop fighting it. Have an open mind. Let go of previous thoughts surrounding this thing. Thoughts like, “Healthy eating is bland and boring.” “Exercise is brutal and painful.” “I hate…x,y,z.” Sound familiar? Are these thoughts helpful to you on your journey?
I would also encourage you to explore what does work for you. Maybe you hate going to the gym, OK take a walk outside, or workout at home. Find some healthy options of food that you do enjoy, try different recipes until you find some that you like. If you are putting in the honest effort and you still dread what you are doing, try something else. There is bound to be something out there that works for you. Experiment, try new things, and get creative. This is your journey take it where you want. Don’t be afraid to fail and fall down, as long as you keep getting back up and figuring out what works best for you.
As always take it slow. Try this out for a day. Pretend like you are “that” person that loves to run every day, loves to eat a salad every day for lunch, that type of person. How does that person look at these types of things? Are they constantly fighting themselves?
What are your thoughts on this? Are you stuck fighting yourself? What works for you? What doesn’t?